Grandma Has the “C” Word: Children & Grief
Updated: 1 day ago
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” ~Dr. Seuss
In May of 2022, my mother told us that her stomach was bothering her. My mother hardly ever got sick, so at first, we weren’t alarmed by her complaints. More importantly, it never crossed our minds that it could be something life threatening. However, on September 27, 2022, the dynamics of our family changed FOREVER! My beautiful mother, Cheryl, was officially diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. From the moment we found out the truth about my mom’s health, we began a journey that we are still processing and learning how to navigate. #GrievingAndLiving
Our mother was the epitome of #GrandmaBear. She ABSOLUTELY loved being a grandmother to Jovanni, Ariah, and Gia. This amazing woman was at the hospital for all their births. And she was their primary babysitter too. Her grandchildren grew up surrounded by her love, wisdom, and presence. Even when she wasn’t babysitting them, they were always over at their grandparents’ house. Now, I realize what a gift those times were. We keep those memories even closer to our hearts.
Patience is a gift that my mother radiated. She instinctively knew how to handle each individual’s unique personality, and her own childlike personality was infectious too. Her grandchildren loved being in her presence, and the love they shared is deeply rooted. When Micah, my brother, had to tell his children their beloved grandmother was “sick,” it was overwhelming to say the least.
Unfortunately, October 2, 2022, was the last time she would see her grandchildren. In her backyard, my nieces performed a routine they had just learned in dance class. I will never forget watching my mother as she sat in her chair, mustering the strength to still smile and dance along. She was always going to be the protective #GrandmaBear for her little cubs.
On December 2, 2022, their beloved grandmother went to heaven. It was devastating when Micah had to share the news with his children. Now, as a family, we encourage the kids to talk about their memories of their grandmother. We still exchange stories through laughter and tears. I'm so thankful that my nieces and nephew were introduced to therapy, and we also gave them journals as a healthy outlet for their emotions. As a family, we decided not to turn off my mom’s cell phone. It was important for us to foster opportunities to feel connected to her. My nieces and nephew periodically call and send her text messages. It hurts my heart knowing their relationship with her was cut way too short.
Sharon Brubaker, my healing counselor and grief therapist, continues to be a staple and wealth of information regarding the topic grief. She helped equip me with tools to assist my nieces and nephew in their healing journeys. Her guidance during this difficult time has truly been a blessing and lifesaver!!
The absence of Jovanni, Ariah, & Gia’s #GrandmaBear will forever be felt and sorely missed. But the impact that she still has on their lives is bigger than her physical absence. My mother will always be with them but now in a different way. We all will continue to honor her legacy by living just like she did. This is what she would want us to do too. Cheryl Yolanda Jones-Kemp thank you for being the epitome of a grandmother’s love!!
Resources:
1) How to Support a Grieving Child
2) The Grief School
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